Category Archives: Haiku



In David Bowie’s songĀ Five Years, he sings ‘It was cold and it rained so I felt like an actor’. I think I understand what he means here. I’m sure we’ve all had moments where it’s been raining and we picture ourselves as the hero of some great romance or drama.

Later, when we’ve been in the rain for a bit, we realise that actually we’re just wet and cold and pathetic.


Standing in the rain
Windswept turns to pitiful
As the rose tint fades

Photo Rain.jpg

These plants and I disagree about what exactly constitutes ‘good weather’


The Late Night Visit

The Late Night Visit 001.jpg

If I find a gap in one of my poetry notebooks that is too small for one of my usual pieces, I like to write a haiku or limerick to fill the space. This is one of those filler poems.

A few weeks ago, I was woken at 01:30 by a loud knocking. This knocking went on for some time and seemed to be coming from my front door! I brushed it off as a lost drunkard but, the next night at 01:30 the knocking was back again, louder and more frantic than before. I thought I might be having a recurring dream, but my housemate heard it too! I have no idea who was knocking or why.

The Late Night Visit

Knocking on the door
What time is it? 01:30
I’m ready to die


Do I have time to update my status to something witty before I am killed?


Haikune: Spy-Ku


To bring Haikune to a close, I bring you Spy-Ku. Haiku which delve into the secret, sneaky world of Spies, specifically James Bond. Come back next time for Julymericks! Woohoo!

You Expect Me To Talk?

Oh no, Mr Bond
I don’t expect you to talk
Just to die, Ha Ha

The Package

From Russia, with love
No one by that name lives here
Back to sender, boom.

Say sieve a red dye, DUN...DUN

Say sieve and red dye, DUN…DUN

Haikune: Try-ku


It’s the third week of Haikune, which is basically just June except that I’m posting a couple of Haiku every week! Last week we had Shy-ku, and the week before that we had Die-ku. This week it’s time for Try-ku. These are Haiku about times when you try really hard at something but things just don’t go your way. These are both autobiographical (the first didn’t literally happen but is representative of my skill. The second, unfortunately, really did happen).


Is this painting you?
No, it’s Nelson Mandela
Full marks for effort

Sausage Casserole

Sausage casserole
Heat it up and eat again
Vomiting all night

I have to confess I didn't try at all with this photo. Or perhaps I tried my hardest to make it look like I didn't try. Perhaps I'm generally just trying too hard right now.

I have to confess I didn’t try at all with this photo. Or perhaps I tried my hardest to make it look like I didn’t try. Perhaps I’m generally just trying too hard right now.

Haikune: Shy-ku


For the second week of Haikune, I am sharing my shy-ku with you! What are shy-ku? They’re haiku about social anxiety!

The Guests

Son, the guests are here
I just have three chapters left
Will I have to talk?

The New Kid

New child comes to school
Do you want to sit with us?
Bench suddenly warm

Oh gosh, people are talking to me. What if they notice I'm actually a gorilla?

Oh gosh, people are talking to me. What if they notice I’m actually a gorilla?

Haikune: Die-ku


I’ve decided that June is now Haikune so I will be posting a couple of haiku each week, along with a regular poem in the other post. For the first weekend (sort of, I meant to post on Saturday but didn’t have my laptop with me) of Haikune, I am posting what I call Die-ku. These are haiku that deal with death. Hope you enjoy.

Dr Lecter

Dr Lecter’s here
Please don’t let him eat my face
Sound of muffled screams

Bungee Jumping

Tie the bungee rope
Eaten by a crocodile
Where did you learn knots?

First he was in jail Then he fled to Italy Nearly et by pigs

First he was in jail
Then he fled to Italy
Good evening Clarice