Monthly Archives: November 2015

Words Cut Out

Words Cut Out 001

I find having my haircut incredibly stressful. I don’t know why but the whole experience is just very miserable and awkward as far as I’m concerned. As such, I usually wait a very long time between haircuts meaning that, when the time finally does come when I have to face up to it, it takes ages… I’m an idiot really. And it really is time I had a haircut.

Words Cut Out

Seven months have come and gone
Since on that chair, I parked my bum
For some, it’s strange to see me wan
I don the robe and sit there dumb

I’ve already delayed too long
My strong disgust has given way
Today, although it feels so wrong
The song of sense has had it’s say

I give my name and current life
All strife cut out (to be polite)
The bite of words pierce like a knife
Chat’s rife and steady through the plight

My head feels incomplete by now
I bow to help him reach the end
I mend my jumper, brush my brow
Say ‘Ciao’ with 10 quid less to spend

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10 quid might be a very optimistic estimate

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The Visit

The Visit 001.jpg

This is about a particularly amusing kind of student.

The Visit

The backtrack scrabble hatch
Brimming with absurdities
Assumed quirks reversed in moments
For the visit

Hotchpotch bottle stock
Displays dismantled
Excising vices recently acquired
For the visit

Sheetshed unmade bedspread
Hastily arranged inexpertly
By unfamiliar hands
For the visit

Unwashed clutter mosh pit
Piled, pixied, purified
And put in pride of place to garner praise
For the visit

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Tidying up’s easy. Finding everything again afterwards is a different matter.

 

This Room

This Room

I’ve always found it fascinating how much you can learn about people from what they have in their house. The books they have, the pictures on the walls, what they have on display, and even the colour of the carpet all tell you something about the person or people who own that house, flat, or room.

I wrote this poem while housesitting for some friends. I was sitting in bed, looking around at the room and was struck by the thought that it was almost like a piece of art that the owners of the house had put together about their life. I wasn’t sure if I was part of the picture or an aberration in it.

This Room

This room is full of memories
But none of them are mine
I didn’t write this letter
And I didn’t drink this wine

This room could tell a story
But I wouldn’t be the star
It’s not my name inside the books
This isn’t my guitar

This room’s a private painting
But I think I’ve smudged the paint
When the artists see the mess I’ve made
I’m sure they’re going to faint

This may be my room but the hastily repaired hole in the ceiling was not part of my story. I promise.

This may be my room but the hastily repaired hole in the ceiling was not part of my story. I promise.

Not On Me

Not On Me

Here is the second of November’s non-rhyming poems. This poem also features probably the most pathetic picture I’ve ever drawn. Sorry about that.

‘Not On Me’ is about a first world problem I have experienced far too many times recently.

Not On Me

I was never one to keep score
Or a record of wrongs
As though we were incapable
Of living by grace

But need breeds thrift
And a gift is not so easily declined
Or offered

A moment of serenity
The sun drips through the skylight
And trickles onto my face
Washing away the tension the wind whipped up

Cracked, the moment shatters
Broken by a voice
An innocent question

Ok Sir, a medium Belgian chocolate creamer
With whipped cream and chocolate sauce

That will be £3.20
Do you have a Costa Card?

Yes, is my reply
But not on me

And the sun is eclipsed by the moon

I'm counting the Costa of leaving this at home

I’m counting the Costa of leaving this at home

Invisible Touch

Invisible Touch

Phil Collins recently announced the exciting news that he is coming out of retirement! He’s promising a new album and even a tour! Needless to say, I was overwhelmed by this news, so I thought it was time to post another poem from the Phil Collins Saga. You can find some others under the ‘Longer Projects’ category. An assassin has been hired by the forces of light who have been forced to resort to cruel methods to end Collins’ reign of terror. However it may seem, this poem is not the end of the story.

Invisible Touch

His feet were silent
Light as air
The river running dark and brown
He crept along
The narrow bank
His task; to take Phil Collins down

So many ways
To do the deed
Shoot, smother, poison, stab, or drown
He slipped into
An alleyway
At dusk to take Phil Collins down

His blue robe trailing
Whispers soft
This figure haunts the old Swiss town
Two velvet gloves
Upon the hands
He’ll use to take Phil Collins down

The house now breached
Phil Collins found
Resplendent in his dressing gown
A shadow looming
Rush of air
He’s here to take Phil Collins down

The job done swiftly
Scarce a scream
The blue assassin stops to frown
For life’s one purpose
All his days
Had been to take Phil Collins down

But now returning
Bringing death
His handiwork of some renown
With vigour now
A righteous goal
His task; take Eric Clapton down

He suspects nothing

He suspects nothing

Maurice UnRaveling

Maurice UnRaveling

For November, I’m going to post a non-rhyming poem every week! Pretty much all of my poetry rhymes so this may not go very well. We’ll see what happens.

Music is a wonderful gift. I am almost constantly listening to music of some kind but, every now and then, a song or piece of music comes along that is so beautiful that you find yourself incapable of functioning whilst listening to it. This can sometimes have unfortunate consequences.

Maurice UnRaveling

A chord of four strands
Binds my hand nowhere in particular
But anywhere other than my pen

Binds my eyes closed
Hoiks my brow up

Binds my lips together
Pulls air suddenly through my nose

Binds all the neurones in my brain
But those with square receptors

Until it snaps

Then my hand scrambles for the page
As my eyes fly open
This is due in at 5
But my brain just fell out of my bum

The cause of many a last minute submission

The cause of many a last minute submission