Australia

Australia

Australia is a ridiculous place. I’ve always wondered why on earth people would want to live there. Every animal in Australia can kill you in at least 5 different ways. It’s ridiculously hot and, as if the ocean wasn’t a terrifying enough place already, they swim with sharks and other man killing monsters. Also, they’re upside down! This brings me to the inspiration for this poem. In every copy of The New Scientist magazine, they have people writing in question on the back pages while other readers try to answer them. One in particular, that I came across over Summer, blew my mind.

I can’t actually remember the question in.. uh.. question, but I know that it mentioned the writer having a friend in Australia who told him that the moon was upside down! Yes, you read that correctly. The moon is upside down in Australia. It is the other way up to how it looks in England. Which means, by extension, that the whole of space is the other way up in Australia! This may seem obvious but it hurt my brain. I had to stop reading the New Scientist and watch three episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer before I felt able to even speak again.

Australia

The moon’s upside down in Australia
It hangs upside down in the sky
The look on it’s face
Is upended in space
It’s obvious to anyone why

It’s all upside down in Australia
The people, their voices, the moon
It’s all just a slick
Antipodean trick
That I won’t fall for anytime soon

I will kick your guts out if you come to Australia

I will kick your guts out if you come to Australia

I will kick

I will kick

your guts

your guts

out

out

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