J R R Tolkien was a phenomenal writer with a beautiful gift for language. The Lord of the Rings is an incomparable epic. It’s also serious nerd fuel. Along with Star Trek, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones and many other sci-fi/fantasy classics, it inspires some fairly unhealthy levels of devotion which can be embarrassing to watch. But what if the lines between reality and fantasy began to blur? What if you couldn’t be sure what was real and what was a dream? Who knows eh? Here’s a poem about Gandalf.


Gandalf wept as he swept through the streets
All lost, All lost
White cloth was flapping and flowed round his feet
Double crossed, double crossed

He flew up the road in a terrible rage
Must fly, must fly
Preparing to battle the bane of the age
Great eye, great eye

He came to the gates and cried Let me come through!
Steel clad, steel clad
The Guards said We’ve got medication for you
Quite mad, quite mad

He threw back the doors and ran into the halls
Come back, come back
You’re not really Gandalf, you’re just tripping balls
Old quack, old quack

Gandalf is known for his sweet magnetic powers

Gandalf is known for his sweet magnetic powers



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